Every year around this time, we set resolutions. We have no real intention of keeping these promises, but kid ourselves for a week or two. And, honestly, it feels nice.
Many times, we include a goal to lose weight. This year, that particular resolution will be even more top-of-mind for some, given the effects that the pandemic has had on the poor, sad little bodies we live in.
But losing weight is not a good resolution. Don’t get me wrong: I am all about being physically and mentally healthy, eating well, exercising and journaling. But one’s overall health is far greater than what a scale says. Body shaming ourselves and others for how we look is trash.
Let’s leave all the trash in 2020.
So some of us at The Know came up with 10 resolutions to consider in the new year, ones that are significantly better for you than “losing your quarantine weight.”
1. Give up on hobbies
We’ve all picked up too many hobbies while in quarantine, and cannot possibly keep them up. It’s too much! For example, at one point or another this year I have decided to become a piano player, chef, artist, astronomer, author, botanist, furniture-flipper and TikTok influencer. I was not successful at any of these endeavors. But more importantly, I did not enjoy half of them. So I gave them up. And that’s OK! I’m not about to waste my evening stabbing at keys while trying to master a Mozart sonata just so I can justify buying a keyboard.
2. No time like the present to officially reject the concept of time
Did I exist yesterday, a week ago, a month ago? Did you? I couldn’t say. It doesn’t matter. Time isn’t real. Let’s lean in.
3. Stop shaming people for liking dumb things
So, you don’t like Taylor Swift. You think Kristen Stewart can’t act. You full-heartedly believe In-N-Out Burger is mediocre. That’s nice, but no one cares. Stop getting mad at people who get excited about things just because you don’t share their joy. They found happiness in a sea of sadness. Stop drowning them in negativity.
4. Drop the “holiday” in “holiday decor” for year-round festivity
We bought a skeleton from Target to celebrate Halloween this year. He’s now sitting under our Christmas tree. When the Christmas tree leaves, he’ll stay. He is our skeleton now, and our skeleton can stay forevermore. So keep your Christmas lights up until January. Heck, keep them up until July. Why not? As previously discussed, time doesn’t exist.
5. Petition your workplace to get sweatpants recognized as business-casual wear
Some days, I dress up to work at home so I can cosplay as a normal person. Other times, I wear the same running shorts two days in a row. Have my clothing choices impacted my productivity? No. When we return to our newsroom, I plan to present management with a petition to normalize sweatpant use. I encourage you to do the same.
6. Get therapy and talk about it with everyone
If you haven’t started therapy, you’re really missing out. It’s all the rage these days. Treat yourself by setting up an appointment with someone who is paid to hear you talk about yourself as you cry. (This is not meant to belittle the benefits of therapy, honest.)
7. Drink water after crying
Many a Coloradan was already leading a dehydrated life before the pandemic. And then we started having multiple breakdowns a week. Add this to our significantly increased hand sanitizer usage and our bodies have turned into ashy raisins. Rectify this by drinking more water. The best way to pick up a new habit is to tie it to an existing one. In this instance, drink a glass of water every time you cry. Your emotional and physical self will thank you.
8. Become a lazy person
My therapist — shout out to Resolution No. 6! — once described our energy levels as spoons. We only have a finite number of spoons, and once you run out, you’re out. For example, if you use up all those spoons at work, you’ll have no spoons left for activities after work, such as playing a rousing game of the fun, family-favorite “Spoons.” As you go about your days, think of your spoons and how you plan to use them. And if you need to be lazy so you can stock up on more spoons, do it!
9. Join a cult
Obviously, you shouldn’t join a real cult. But consider joining a fandom! Everyone needs friends who support them, and it’s nice when those friends share your interests. These
cults fandoms can take many forms. I enjoy astrology, so force all my friends to download the Co-Star app so I can stalk their birth charts (shout out to my fellow Tauruses!). My fiancée loves the K-Pop band BTS so spends half her time sending concert videos to fellow stans. My mom was in Greek Life in college so does weekly Zoom calls with her sorority sisters. Go find yourself a nice community of people who share your random fanaticism and make some friends. But, like, don’t join an actual cult.
10. Support your fellow Coloradans
If there’s one thing this pandemic has taught us, it’s that we need to support one another. Order takeout from local restaurants. Buy a book from a local independent bookstore. Get a record from a local musician. Pay for local journalism. And wear a mask.
Elizabeth Hernandez and Josie Sexton contributed to this fascinating report.
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